"People don’t care how much you know… until they know how much you care!" I believe that these words of wisdom are so true.

We often hear people’s frustration because the important people in their life don’t listen or receive instruction from them. It can be parents with their children, teachers and their students, or sometimes it’s the boss and his employees. Whatever the situation; the bottom line is thatpeople won’t take our advice if they don’t feel genuinely loved or cared for by us.

If we think about it, how do WE ourselves often react when others correct or teach us?  We walk away feeling like they were trying to show us how much smarter they are. Or we sense that they’re looking down on us, judging or controlling us and trying to make us feel that they're the better person. If that is our perception, we won’t believe they truly care and we won’t listen to them. 

Now, in all fairness, many times that's just not the case. The other person may really care and want to help us, but because of the disconnection between us, it seems like they don’t really care about us or our circumstances. We end up shutting out their words from the very beginning of their conversation.

Since people are only interested in what we know if they believe we genuinely care about them, here are some things to show them that you care:

1.  Start your conversation with a question about their life and circumstance instead of immediately giving them all your wisdom and advice. Find out what’s on their heart and what they are going through. Be a good listener before unloading the wealth of your opinion! We must earn the right to speak into a person’s life before we can be effective.

2.  Don’t just listen; be a good listener. Make eye contact, responding with caring facial expressions and concerned looks, because your body language reflects your care and concern for their well-being. In fact, many times your body language speaks louder than your words and if they contradict each other, the other person will immediately pick up on that.

3.  Avoid distractions and interruptions such as texting, phone calls, doodling, etc. during your communication time. These things send a wrong message and will literally cause the person to shut down to whatever you have to say before you even say it.

Prepare to avoid these distractions ahead of time by turning your phone off and putting it out of sight. Let everyone know you’re unavailable during your time with that person. Avoid sitting next to a window that looks on a busy area, so you and the other person can stay focused on your discussion.

4. Put aside enough time so they won’t feel rushed, or they’ll immediately shut down to what you have to say. It takes time to be a good listener and also be able to express your thoughts. However, there should be a time limit, so be truthful and up front about how much time you have available. You can always agree to another meeting with them to show that you really care and are willing to see their issue through to its conclusion.

It takes time, energy and commitment to genuinely care for someone else, whether it’s a child, a spouse or a friend. Remember, what matters most is that we really care about one another. And ….. this matters most to God! Ephesians 4: 32a, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,….”

Isn’t it amazing how a 20 dollar bill looks so big when you take it to church….but so small when you bring it to the mall to go shopping? Or, think about how long an hour serving God seems to us and yet how minimal 60 minutes seems if it’s spent watching TV, playing sports, sleeping, or taking a lunch break...

And, consider how laborious it is to read a chapter in the bible, but we find it so easy to sit down and read 100-300 pages of that bestselling novel.  When we’re on that big Saturday night date, we have no problem staying up late, but we’ll  sure complain about losing sleep if we have to get up for  a Sunday morning service. Isn’t it strange that we’re so quick to trust directions from a total stranger if we are lost, believe the advice from the latest pop-psychologist, but we’re so hesitant to seek God’s direction in the Bible for the issues of our life?  

It comes down to recognizing what our priorities actually are. Many of us live our life convinced that loving and serving God is our priority, but in reality we are self-deceived! When examined more closely, our actions will betray us and reveal our true priorities. What should we do about it? Here are a few suggestions.

1. First, repent that you have been living a hypocritical Christian life! Recognize your condition. Admit that, like the Church of Laodicea in the Book of Revelation, your heart for the things of God is lukewarm at best and isn’t pleasing to God. According to scripture, the life of a lukewarm Christian is worse than a life without Jesus Christ. At least an unsaved person, when faced with the truth of their ungodly lifestyle recognizes they need Jesus. But, a Christian living an ungodly, lukewarm life style is deceived into thinking that everything is good. The truth though, is that it’s not!

2. Next, study His Word to find out what He expects of us who have His Spirit living in us. John 15:1-7 tells us that if we’re connected with Him there must be evidence (fruitfulness) of His life in us. We should be obedient to His Word, have a giving nature, show unconditional love for one another, desire to worship and praise Him continually, develop a prayer life and last but not least have a desire to come together as His body on a regular basis to worship Him.

3. Be baptized and filled daily with the Holy Spirit. He is the presence of God and He will keep you passionately in love with Jesus.  When the fire goes out, we’re all subject to living a compromised Christian life, but the Holy Spirit is available every moment of our life. Get into the daily habit of being filled with His presence. It’s as simple as just asking Him to fill you!

4. Finally, I believe it is absolutely necessary to share your faith with someone daily. Too many of us are closet Christians… afraid of rocking the boat. Or we’re deceived into believing that we should keep our faith to ourselves. The river of God’s love must flow out of us by sharing our faith with others. This allows God to pour more of Himself in us and keeps us in His fresh anointing. Let’s rip the veils of deception off our eyes and start living the true Christian life.

Let’s not buy the lie many Christians are being told today. They believe they’re going to heaven but they also don’t think there is a hell!

Get out of the Stark reality and into the God reality. Don't blow your time and money like it's nothing. Let’s get our priorities straight and start living a truly true Christ-like life. It’s worth the effort.

With the end of this age drawing near and the second coming of Jesus at hand, we are all experiencing an increase in spiritual warfare. The battleground of this war is played out in our mind, so our archenemy Satan’s weapon of choice is to try to give us evil thoughts and wicked imaginations. He uses circumstances to stir up thoughts and feelings such as fear, despair, anger, jealousy and depression, to just name a few.

The devil’s goal is to tempt you to react impulsively to the thoughts and imaginations he places in your mind. That's the crux of spiritual warfare, but most are clueless to his tactics and strategies, believing they themselves have originated those thoughts and feelings. And if they continue to dwell on these damaging thoughts instead of rejecting them and casting them out of their mind, they’ll fall victim to their suggestions and influence.

Know who the real enemy is in your life so you can fulfill the great destiny God created you for. Here are some of the strategies Satan uses against us:

1. He makes us believe God is against us. He deceives us into thinking that God is holding us back and is against us. If you buy Satan’s lie, it takes the focus off him and he can operate covertly in your life. God created you for success and He would never undermine His own plan for you. Ephesians 2:10, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

2. Satan tempts us to think poorly of ourselves. Inferiority and low self-esteem keep more people away from a successful life than anything else. Satan knows we can't live any greater than how we think about ourselves. So, if he convinces us we’re not worth as much as everyone else around us, we stop believing for things to get any better. Every dream or vision of success we had will be killed. So many of us have quit expecting anything better for our marriage, finances, physical condition or even our walk with God. In fact, we often expect worse things because we don’t recognize the effects of our negative thoughts, believing they are true. The reality is; the devil is a liar and a thief. He planted those negative thoughts in our minds so we’ll sabotage our own success.

Not knowing who our enemy is and how he works puts us at a disadvantage. Here are some ways that disadvantage works against us is:

1. We see each other as our enemy, not Satan. Yes, he uses people to hurt us, come against us and be stumbling blocks, but it is all part of his covert operations. He is the one who is our real opponent. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

2. We have a wrong perception of our circumstance. Satan is the master of creating circumstances that substantiate the thoughts he placed in our mind. But, all circumstances are temporary and changeable. Temporary, because their assignment is limited and will change…once we change our mind about them. Don't let your circumstances change you. Instead, change your circumstances by bringing your thoughts into agreement with God’s plan for your life, not in agreement with the negative circumstance. Speak God’s words instead of the words those circumstances want you to speak.

Knowing your real enemy will dramatically improve your life. Hope and joy will be restored almost immediately and a righteous anger will rise up, giving you a desire to set others free from Satan’s deceptions. Let’s join together and fight the real enemy…. not each other.

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I know so many people who are very easily offended. The slightest controversy throws them into a tail spin, ruins their day and separates them from those who have offended them. Sadly, many times the person that offended them wasn’t aware they did, so eventually the offense spreads to them as well.Constantly offended people are not very happy because life is difficult for them. They become contagious to others...... in other words, the offense goes viral! Haven’t you noticed that a spirit of offense is prevailing in our society today?

Here are a few steps to follow if you find yourself being offended easily:

1. Offenses will surely come because we’re created to have relationships, but we need to see where they originate. The bible clearly says our enemies are never people....demon spirits influence them to offend us.

If we don’t remember that truth daily, we’ll always fall victim to the spirit of offense.
People who walk around offended all the time are hard to please, are very critical and judgmental and they’re difficult to be around. Their hearts have become hardened because the river of God’s love, meant to flow through them, has dried up.

2. Walk in forgiveness. I mean pre-determine to forgive, since offenses will come. Don’t wait until after the offense, to decide whether to forgive them or not. No, you have to already pre-determine to forgive those who offended you before they actually do. Therefore, praise God.....you’re becoming an un-offendable person!

3. Be constantly filled with the Holy Spirit. Zechariah 4: 6b, “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.” Only through Him do we have the power to be un-offendable and He’ll remind us daily who the real enemy is. He will also remind us that we are Christ’s ambassador here on earth.... re-presenting Him through His love flowing through us.

The Holy Spirit also reminds us how valuable the person who offended us is to God and therefore valuable to us as well. Without the Holy Spirit living in us, we will be offended all of the time! Yes, it’s not only possible to live this un-offendable life; it is God’s will that we do. Ephesians.4:26,27 says, “Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

4. Don’t give any room for the devil in your heart and mind. He will take advantage of you, making you over-sensitive to everyone’s remarks. Guard against being feeling-led and not spirit-led. Satan wants you to live your Christian life from your soul and not your born-again spirit and renewed mind. Staying in God’s word and checking to make sure your love tank isn’t running low, will help you see things God’s way (not how the devil wants you to see them).

Remember, offenses will come, but you don’t have to get offended. Join me and let’s choose to live an un-offendedable life, putting the spirit of offense under our feet. Let’s never forget that the One who lives in us is greater than he that is in this world!

So many of us are at a crossroad in our life; not knowing what decisions to make. We’re struggling with choices like; should I marry him or not; where should I invest my life savings or should I invest at all; should I move or stay where I am; do I retire now and risk not having enough or do I continue working; will a divorce end this pain or do I stick it out and hope for change; etc. Making the right decision is crucial, but the wrong decisions on critical issues can set our life back many years and even cause us to miss our God-given destiny.

The gift of discernment is one of the greatest (and most-often overlooked and under-used) gifts from God. Every human has natural discernment, based on their accumulation of experience and knowledge, to help make right decisions. Unfortunately, natural discernment is “hit and miss and” and often fails.

God will never fail!  That’s why I’m talking about supernatural discernment, His wisdom, given through the Holy Spirit, to make the right decision in any situation. The right decision fulfills His destiny of joy, peace and prosperity for us (not failure, depression or hopelessness).

How do I get God’s discernment…how does it work?

1. Simply ask for the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:13 ).  He is the source of every spiritual (supernatural) gift. Remember, it’s a gift. It’s not earned as a reward because we’ve been a good Christian for years. It’s for anyone who accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior and who is Spirit-filled. If this doesn’t describe you; take the time to make that decision. It has nothing to do with your successes or failures; God desires to bless you just as you are. But, you have to make the choice to receive this great gift that will literally save your life!

Here is how it works:

2. The Holy Spirit gives insight into the choices confronting you. For instance, in choosing to divorce or not, the Holy Spirit supernaturally reveals God’s mind concerning that potentially devastating decision. He also reveals who is influencing you to make that decision.

If a friend or family member is speaking into your heart, the Holy Spirit reveals what is influencing them. Three sources influence decisions… a human source; a demonic source or a God source. If we can’t detect what is influencing us, we can easily make the wrong decision, end up devastating our life and hindering our God-given destiny.

Too often we’ve forged ahead with bad decisions, regret them today and are suffering their consequences. Don’t live with just natural discernment when you can have God’s gift of discernment!  Matthew 7:7 , “ Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

The Holy Spirit is available to you so……Don’t dare make another decision without God's help!

We often confuse the business of “doing” things in life with “making progress” in life. The children of Israel come to mind as a good example of this, wandering about in the desert for forty years, but never reaching their destination. According to experts, their trip from Egypt to the Promised Land could have been accomplished in 11 days. They certainly had a lot of movement… but very little progress!

Here are some examples of how we confuse movement with true change and personal growth:

• Christian Maturity: People are convinced that because they do things for the Lord, they are spiritually mature. They say things like, “I go to church three times a week, I’m part of the choir and in my spare time I even pray for the sick.” Those are all good things to do, but spiritual growth is best measured by whether or not we act like the Lord: if we are Christ-like. The fruit of the Spirit we exhibit is the tool to measure true godliness. In describing this deception, 2 Timothy 3:5&7 says, “ Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”  Paul tells Timothy that “religion” doesn’t assure someone has godliness, or they understand the power of God or that they are mature Christians.

• We talk it but don’t walk it: We are deceived if we believe we have changed by the movement of our mouths, not our feet, because talking change doesn’t mean that we are changed! I previously wrote a blog titled, “Change Is Not Change Until It Has Changed”. Some people are convinced they have turned the corner because they talk as though they have changed. In reality they are like the children of Israel; just going around in circles. You see this in marriages; a promise to change is made, but you never see any progress in their relationship with each other. We also see this pattern (movement without progress) in dead beat employees, or substance abusers promising to change. In the parable in Matthew 21:28-31 , Jesus compares two sons. One did not fulfill the promise he made to the father. The other one was not willing at first, but changed his mind and actually did the work his father asked him. Jesus said that assuredly, the one who did the work was the one who did his father’s will.

What are we to do? It is frustrating when we realize we haven’t made any progress. But, here are a few things to help us come out of the deception that motion alone means progress:

1. Clarify your goals. Too often we have double vision concerning the destination of our life’s journey.  We will never hit a target if we have double vision. James 1 : 7&8 tells us a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and won’t receive anything from God.

2.  Don’t take short cuts. We all like the path of least resistance, but the easy way and the shortest way is often the wrong way. People offer us ways to get rich quick, a simple way to make our marriage work, lose weight without changing our eating habits, etc. But they never work!

3. Don’t try to save your life. It’s impossible to avoid making the personal sacrifices necessary for true progress to take place in our lives. We must carry our cross daily and deny our fleshly desires to walk the road of progress. The faster we accept the truth that progress requires sacrifice, the faster we will make true progress. There is no progress without a cross.

Conclusion. Let’s stop wandering around our mountains, substituting movement for progress. It is Satan’s great deception, so let’s wake up and stop comparing ourselves to the world’s measure of progress. But instead, let’s measure our progress according to God’s word.

It seems like almost every day we face an unexpected event. Of course some events are more serious than others, but these unexpected happenings either make or break our day. But, if we think about it, many unexpected things could have been avoided if we took God’s spiritual law of sowing and reaping seriously. Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”  What you sow today determines what you reap tomorrow.

In Matthew 13:24-30 , there is a parable about tares and wheat.  While the farmer slept, an enemy sowed tares in the midst of the wheat, so at harvest time he was shocked to see tares, but the parable is meant to show that because he fell asleep and didn’t pay attention, the tares were able to be sown.

Although this parable is in the context of an agricultural society, it is also true for us. We are “sleeping” when we don’t watch the seeds (words) we sow. Proverbs 18:20 says words produce fruit: “A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; from the produce of his lips he shall be filled.” So the bad harvest (words that are like tares) is expected, not unexpected.

Your life right now is the sum total of all your words about yourself and your destiny. Take inventory of the words you release into the atmosphere. Words from your heart and out of your mouth release life or death over your destiny, as it says in Proverbs 18:21 , “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Unexpected events can be avoided in the future by disciplining your tongue. Release today what you want to see happening in the future, because what you sow today, you will reap tomorrow.

Now.... what about the truly unexpected events in your life that you are not responsible for? Here are a few points to consider when dealing with them:

1. God Is Sovereign. Not every problem will be removed, but can be used for your good. God’s desire is not to kill you or let Satan kill you. He is in the character-building business: building the character of Christ in you. Trust His sovereignty because He loves you and ultimately controls your destiny. Romans 8:28 ,” And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. “

2. Know When To Resist. If what you are going through is outside of the will (word) of God, if it is contrary to His purposes for your life and has Satan’s fingerprints all over it..... you MUST resist!  If you are not sure and fear you will miss God, trust the Holy Spirit to show you for sure in the Word. James 4:7 , “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. “

3. Trust In God. In the parable of  the wheat and tares, the tares were allowed to grow until harvest season, when they would be separated from the wheat. Some unexpected things cannot be changed, like a lost loved-one or if something important is taken away from you. In those cases we can only trust in God and let Him use it for our good. Proverbs 3:5 , “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;”

4. Thank God In All Things. 1 Thessalonians 5: 18b, “in everything give thanks”. Notice it says to thank God IN everything, not FOR everything. God is there with you even in the unexpected, and if God is with you.... no weapon formed against you will prosper!

Conclusion. Unexpected things will always occur; they are part of life itself. But, they do not have to stop God’s destiny from being fulfilled, if we handle the unexpected correctly.

Most Americans today live a life governed by cycles of personal crises; a phenomena I call "living in crisis mode." The definition of the word "crisis" is: a problem, situation, or condition, that's beyond your control or your ability to change.

A crisis comes in all shapes and forms such as receiving a discouraging doctor's report or a spouse telling you they don't love you anymore because they found someone else. It could be losing your life's investment or a foreclosing on your house or a loved one passing away.  These challenges and many more bring us into crisis mode, but the problem is that we can get used to living that way: conditioned to accept boundaries created by these on-going crises. When we are in crisis mode, survival becomes our only goal.... not complete deliverance, freedom, and victory. Or if some of us have a victim mentality, we can even enjoy living like this, because it gives us much-needed attention and affirmation.

How can our crisis become a turning point? Let's formulate some principles and look at how the woman with the issue of blood (found in Mark 5:25-34 ) turned her crisis around.

1. Become sick and tired of being sick and tired. After spending all her money on doctors for twelve years, she finally got to that point. For some of us it took longer and many still aren't there yet; they're still trying to manage their crisis. It's like going to "pain management" clinics for the rest of your life instead of finally getting rid of all the pain. You have to get to the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Are you there yet?

2. Believe the good news. Remember what it says in Romans 10:17 , "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." This woman heard about all that Jesus had done. You can't let God turn your crisis around without having faith in His Word. Study the Word and take notes on the sermons you hear at church. Bury God's Word in your heart, so you'll believe and will also have faith, (two different things). Faith involves:  action- acting out God's word and communication- declaring what you heard over your circumstance. As she crawled behind Him to touch His garment, she said in verse 28, "If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well."

3. Make the right choice. She chose to no longer manage her crisis. She abandoned her own efforts completely and cried out to God! Your life today is the sum total of all your choices. Today you can make the right choice.

4. Express your desperation. Desperate people won't let public opinion keep them away from their miracle. In the Bible we read that blind Bartimaeus cried out to the Lord with a loud voice, Jairus the ruler of the synagogue forced himself to get to Jesus in the midst of a large crowd, and of course we just looked at the bold actions of the woman with the issue of blood. These desperate people did everything to get Jesus' attention, and He responded to them in a positive way.  Although Jesus was in the midst of the multitude, only blind Bartimaeus, the woman with issue of blood, and Jairus received a turn around, so God's presence alone isn't enough. How you express your desperation is individual and personal. There is no formula to it.....but it must be done!

CONCLUSION: Are you tired yet of living in crisis? If you are, you too can turn your crisis into a turn around. God's waiting for you, so don't just wait for Him. The good news is that your crisis can be your turning point; you can make a major change for the better. The devil is more afraid of the dream (seed) you're carrying than he is of you. He wants you to live in crisis mode, so make up your mind today. Say, "This is my day for a turning point!

You’re here to become the best version of you…. not somebody else! Who wants to be a cheap copy of a great original? When God created you, He threw away the mold and nobody in this world is exactly like you. As it says in Genesis.1:26, you were made "in the likeness and image of God.” Likeness refers to your spirit and image refers to your body.

All human beings are God's highest order of creation, yet God individually hand crafted each one of us (as Psalm 139 tells us). No one on this earth has your fingerprints, your personality or your abilities.

The following are some keys to become “the best you”:

1. Identify with Jesus. Too often we identify with the wrong people, comparing ourselves with what our current culture tells us is the most popular and accepted type of person. The fashion world and Hollywood set the standard of what’s in and what’s out, what we should look like and shouldn't look like. But our identity must be in Jesus, our Creator and role model of what He created us to be. Ephesians 2:10 &5:2 tells us to imitate Jesus and know we have a pre-planned destiny. He set the plumb line for us and we can identify with Him by renewing our mind through His word.

2. Refuse to compare yourself with others. Everyone has a call; with different gifts and talents. Stop making idols of people by copying them and living outside of your call because you can do what others can’t. Don’t fall into Satan’s trap, becoming a copycat and missing out on your God-given destiny.

3. Celebrate who God made you to be. Thank God for how uniquely He made you. You’ll embrace yourself as God’s special creation and will value your gifts instead of complaining that you don’t have the same gifts as other people have. Celebrate yourself as God's “one of a kind” creation, made to His exact specifications, and you will have greater self-confidence and boldness. You'll fulfill His plans and purposes for your life.

4. Refuse to allow people to compare you with somebody else. People suffer from a poor self-image and low self-esteem because they were compared to others. Growing up I was always compared to other children. My report card and other achievements were always compared to the other children’s. I was asked, “Why don't you do things or get grades like so and so?” For many years I had low self-esteem because I compared myself with others and came up short. 

Parents do it, mates do it, employers do it and even friends do it, but we can refuse to listen! Politely say, “If God wanted me to be like them; He would have made me to be them. But God wanted me to be me; so He made me.” Be bold about your personhood. That doesn't mean you can't improve, but improvement is about being a better you, not a better somebody else.

CONCLUSION: Practice these few keys every day, value your life and you'll find that people will start valuing you as well. To change the way people see you…. change the way you see yourself.